i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
