i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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