Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
