never play flip cup with pint glasses
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it glows. i had to have it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
