this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
