As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
