Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
