I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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