I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize