she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
