Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
