What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
