dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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