Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
