I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
