you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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