In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
