I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Randomize
