Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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