ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
A+ Viking dick
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
