after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
