the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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