Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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