This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
