mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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