oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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