My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize