suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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