He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
