what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize