It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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