Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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