And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
