This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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