I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We need to get me chipped asap
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
