I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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