I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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