I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize