Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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