So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
