i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize