she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There's even glitter on my cock...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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