DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
