i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
