u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
