It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
