Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
