think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He had one of those small greek statue penises
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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