wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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