In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
do herpes really smell.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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