He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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