it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
