I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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