I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
