i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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