i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize