david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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